I believe the carrot is much more effective than the stick. But sometimes I don’t put it into practice. Sticks come in a lot of different shapes and just a few hours ago I recognized my need to use the carrot of approval rather than the stick of disapproval. My 15-year-old will still hear my disapproval of certain attitudes and behavior, but I need to put more effort into affirming his positives—even at those dreadful times when I have to strain to find them.